i keep having them. They started last thursday and i had one on sunday and tonight i have had another, with help from my sister/friend cheryl. To add on to todays Blog............
I have never been just the wife of Scott. We met at Bible College and knew ministry was in our future and felt the call all along. I have always been a pastors wife as long as i have been married to my husband. Church ministry has always been between us. Its always connected us. I feel lost without that connection. Another epiphany....... if i am struggling this much with this identity thing, then how much more is my husband struggling? I have been under the Umbrella of HIS calling. Because i chose to marry him, I chose the ministry. What tremendous turmoil might he be in? The Lord has opened my eyes, i caught a fleeting glimpse of my husbands heart i think.... i am sad , yet motivated to love him more purposfully and more patiently. Maybe the lord is bringing me through this first, so i can walk my husband through. I sense he is not ready to allow the feelings to come yet regarding the whole identity thing. The loss, the mourning. I hear you Father, and i am listening. Please keep feeding me bites of wisdom. Iam grateful..... I am still....... Iam humbled. until tomorrow............ME
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3 comments:
I was trying to think of something to say...But all I can think of is that I am going to be praying for you.
on a side note. My husband worked in Lebanan for 6 years about. As a teacher at East Linn. ;)
I love this epiphany, Tina! I, too, married into the ministry, and that's all I know!
I won't expand on my comments from the last post, except to say that I, too, will be praying for you! : )
I know I've shared with you before that in our previous moves it sometimes has taken me a year to get fully settled. There is a lot to be said about new jobs, homes, and a whole new set of friends and a life in a new place.
You and Scott are doing amazingly well considering how many changes you've been through in the past few months.
I'm sure there is an element of mourning that is there. And not knowing what the next step in your lives is. The great news is that you don't have to worry about it. God knows what he's doing with you and your family. Your job is to take it day by day and to live for Him. That's it. He's got all the details covered so you don't have to worry about them.
I loved Sharon's comment from your last post, there is some amazing wisdom there for you.
We've been down many roads together and this is just one more turnpike. I'm here for you.
I'll be praying for you. I love you my friend.
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